Friday, April 5, 2013

Lose Control

Isn't it amazing how the Lord works in our lives? Receiving answers to prayer has to be the best moments of my life. This is the story of a night where God reached His hand out to me right where I was and reassured me of His presence in my life.

The last few days have been really really hard. Without revealing a lot, let's just say that there is a situation in my life that it completely out of my hands but will absolutely directly effect me. Now, if any of you have ever met me you will know that I am a complete control freak. I have to know exactly what is going on, I want to be able to influence the final decision and if I can make something happen then I try to get my little hands on it as much as possible. Sometimes I think that God laughs at me when I do this. And then He takes His big wonderful Creator hands and just lifts the problem out of mine and tells me that He's got this one covered.

So in the last few days in my anxiety stricken life, I have come to the realization that I can't control this. Just because I've realized this does not mean that every single minute is anxiety or worry free. Because that would  just not be true... I am human and I fail to trust God even when He makes things so obvious to me. Yesterday, I received a note of encouragement in the mail. This note came from a girl that I live with but we're not particularly close. She heard a little bit about what is going on in my life... and she wrote me a note letting me know that she's praying for me and that she could emphatize with my situation. Who doesn't love those kind of notes? She encouraged me to read Psalm 37:4-5. Later on that night, I randomly decided to listen to a women's Bible study on the book of Ruth. I turn it on and the speaker immediately says: "Open your Bibles to Psalm 37. Hahaha, well God I guess I am supposed to read Psalm 37 today, aren't I? This passage says to delight in the Lord and trust in Him. That is the exact opposite of what I was doing. Verse 7 says to be still and wait patiently for God. I'm very very bad at patience.

So that was a kind of wake-up call slash slap in the face reminder that I really needed. But what came next was also unexpected. Who knew the Book of Ruth was about a woman who had to realize God is in control? Yeah, this girl didn't. So I'm listening to Diane Comer speak about how this story is a story of Hope for anyone who has ever been disappointed. This story is all about how God is still in control! He has everything covered. I am 100% craving control in my situation. I am panicking and wishing I could say or do something to influence the outcome...but the only One I can trust who is in complete control is God. Ruth was scared for her future: everything she ever relied on was gone and she had a lot of anxiety. I can relate to that. Can any of you?

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